Friday, September 26, 2008

Special Edition

G’day Blogsters,

Since it’s the end of road season, and in light of recent Saturday performances I thought it the right moment to present:

INAUGURAL GLADSTONE M1 CYCLES - ROAD CYCLING AWARDS.

After considerable deliberation and (a fair amount of alcohol consumed), I’ve come up with the following :

First off the rank…………….

Matt J - Leadership Award - His previous experience as Kremlin Re-alignment Facility Kamp Kommandandt has held him in good stead. Be warned – there’ll be 17 riders looking for your wheel this year at Maryborough.

Kate P – wins the “Not Bad for a Girl Award”. Recent strong performances put her as a contender in the QLD Spring Crit series down south. Her recent acquisition of a rear wheel cyclotron is widely believed to contain an illegal propulsion system – scrutineers are investigating……..

Woody – No award. Coming back after a brief layoff period, could be a contender at 2008 Maryborough Masters or MM ( often referred to as CQ Middle-Aged Rum Drinkers in Lycra).

Bronwyn – 2008 Bicycle Mechanic of the Year. Manages to juggle work, family, cycling etc and still race. Deadly on a tandem with MC.

MC – Best Wheel to Follow. His bus length machine is sure to protect you from the elements - unless coupled with Bronwyn thus making it impossible to keep up with. Could be a big threat at MM if he keeps off the rum.

Whiffo – Honourable Mention - for half wheeling above and beyond the call of duty. Secret member of the Hairy Legged Underground Movement.

Big Dave – No award, but big heart – recent member of the Targinnie Team. Dave, can you please get rid of the pesky magpie on your corner? If anyone has a shotgun with spare ammunition - Dave is in need of one……

Warren – No award – Ineligible due to lack of appearances. Saturday therapy needs to continue on a regular basis – recommend elevation to the Targinnie Team. This has been approved by your wife.

Noel “Good for One Sprint” C – No award - with a title like that, who needs one anyway……….mandatory elevation to Targinnie Team required.

Popey – Rescue of Damsel in Distress Award – Recommend elevation to Targinnie Team.

Pyney – No award – Could well feature into Targinnie Team if Saturday therapy becomes a little more regular.

Slick Mick E – No award. His rise to the giddy heights of pro, now make him ineligible. Simply because we’re a bunch of amateurs……..

IJ – Perseverance Award. Although his rise to the lofty heights of stardom almost made him ineligible. Is this sounding familiar?

Mick N – Biggest Improver – Takes out the coveted “2008 Ute Full of Building Waste” to add to his collection. When can I drop your award around?

Mick Y – No award - not enough appearances. Though does a nice aerial over blocks of timber/big rocks…

Steve K – No award - not enough appearances. Police sources say he isn’t on the missing persons list yet.

Phil H – AKA “Mongrel” – no award – not enough appearances - last year took out the “2007 Biggest Stack from a Pothole” award.

Katriona – No award – Could feature in the summer triathlon series, though what possesses someone to do triathlons I’ll never know……..

Graham – wins “2008 Biggest Loser” title for recent weight loss. Graham - change your title – I hate reality TV……G is prone to doing silly stuff like marathons.

Friekke – Did I get the spelling right? No award due to lack of local appearances, but often heard muttering about injuries he picked up during the Boer War – don’t believe it – still a contender in a sprint finish.

Scotty – Strangest Accent in 2008 – that new machine of yours + more regular appearances have earned you a place in the Targinnie Team.

Thomas the Tank Engine – No award but always impressive – especially since finding his middle range gears. Defies the stereotype of fat ex-rugby league player. Rumour has it that a late night mishap caused him to be banned for life from Gladstone McDonalds, which would explain his continual non-appearance at this venue.

Chris - No award, not enough appearances but a recent addition to the Targinnie Team
Bryce or “Boris” – 2008 Youth Award. Can only improve if he stays away from skate parks, BMX tracks and rap music.

Rebecca – Your recent suffering means you miss out on an award. Believe me, this is a good thing………………..


Well folks that’s all for this year. If you have missed out (lucky you) there may well be additional awards handed out at later stages. Watch this space…………

The Prez (AKA MAD ASS)
President and Founding Member
Middle Aged Delinquents Against Saturday Slouching