Thursday, August 18, 2011


King Kunda is furious after organisers cancelled the upcoming Hyne Timbers Criterium. The event has now been downgraded to a restricted open. A conspiracy theory has enveloped the World of cycling over this controversial decision.

Management for King Kunda at the King Kunda Akademy (KKA) believe an underground movement was formed and quickly gained momentum when word surfaced of the King's imminent return for this event.

A spokesperson from the KKA who wishes to remain anonymous, said he believed this underground movement was instrumental in having the open event shut down. "I think everybody knew the King was going to tear the field apart, and there were a lot of people who knew their reputations would be destroyed by this the legend and ambassador of the KKA".

Police have been called in to investigate if there has been any illegal standover tactics used on the Fraser Coast Cycling Club. Rumours are running rife that the underground movement started in Gladstone.Mr King Kunda is believed to have hung back up his bike and it is up in the air at this stage if he will select another race to display his superior ability to win races on a Big Mac deal a day, with a training regime that consists of riding 4km to his nearest MacDonalds store.